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Sunday, July 31, 2016

A week full of wonderful summer nights *_*

Hallohallohallohalloooooo my cuties ;)

So it is already sunday again and I absolutely can say, this week was like wow: it was so full of activity! And especially such kind of plans which i actually do love, but I lost interest or got some anxiety since my illness :S sounds weird, but i try to make it as clear as possible ;) :D 
Maybe some or many of you already have heard, that people who have an eating disorder withdraw themselves from activities with others or simply enjoy only being on their own ;) because they fully live into their world of not-eating and hiding and lying :S this exactly was the way it felt for me, which I now notice by looking back ;) I always said no, when friends asked me to come along or go out ;) I always was busy when someone wanted me to do something in family and I always seemed on the run from everybody ;) simply being alone with myself and my ed seemed my only activity :S it is so shameful I know now .......

But this week truly showed me, that even if my self worth and self perception is not restored or built up yet, I absolutely love being alive again! ;) 
Actually the week all in all didn´t start so good, as I felt a little bit sick and nervous, but then on Monday me and my fam went to some neighbors of us for a few liquor shots and the anxiety was broken ;) then on Wednesday my uncle was turning 40 and we had a large barbecue ;) Then on Thursday I already was a bit tired, but I absolutely wanted to go with an old childhood friend, I haven´t seen for weeks to a little festival in Dinkelscherben, which is held every year ;) and this is such a cute one, because everything is lighted so comfy outside, many different bands were playing and the atmosphere is so enjoyable *_* so I was so glad to joined in, as I wasn't sure at first ;)

Then on Friday I planned to stay home, because i really was tired and wanted to be fit on Saturday ;) but then this friend spontaneously asked me whether I want to join her and some mates to go to a Beer Summer Festival for a few drinks as well ;) so I said YES and this was also very cool ;) one large stage and a kind of scottish playing music ;) and some beer... Hahaa also a funny experience ;) SO on Saturday me and my sister already planned to go to a Party which is held every year in a near village ;) so before heading there I once more took a visit at the festival in Dinkelscherben and afterwards me and her went to the party, drank a lot of shots and other yummy stuff ;) we had so much fun, because the people were great, the music was good and the atmosphere was stunning ;) *_* 

Sooo and this morning i at first woke up with kind of a headache (hahah no idea from what ? :D) but for lunch we headed again to my uncle where my granny was cooking a deeeeelicious german dish : Schweinefilet mit Spätzle! In english this could be (am not sure): pieces of pork filet with german spätzle ;) 
For now I definitively need to close my eyes a little bit ;) haha tired ;) 
Wish you all a lovely and great start in the new wweeeeeeeeeeeeek xxxxxxxxxxxxx 
Monday, July 25, 2016

Why blogging means the woooorld to me ;) :-*

Heyhooooooooo my looooves *_* 

All over the last years since I started my blog, people ask me like: Why are you doing this? ;) What is it about you are blogging? Why are you writing in English and not in German? ;) 

Okay, so this for me definitively is a rather easy question: I love getting in touch with new people, and especially it makes me so HAPPY to have a look at the statistics of my blog ;) you know? =) 
Every day I can have a look at what person from which country visited my little page ;) and this nearly makes me cheer up by times ;) there are some tiny pieces of the world, which I even didn´t know or ever had heard of :D sounds weird, right? ;) 
But each one of you always makes me so glad to know that some people really care for my blog ;) THANK YOU ;) you all are really Happy Makers to me ;) 
So in all of my bloggin "era" (:D) I had page views from places like Germany, Ireland, Portugal, Russia, Australia, New Zealand, Lebanon, Philipines, Austria, Switzerland, UK, USA, Malaysia, Norway, Sweden, Italy, India,... but also very unknown countries like Bahrain, St. Kitts and Nevis, Nepal, Mauritius, St.Lucia,.... but maybe you also wanna have a look of how this looks like for me for one day: (I LOVE CHECKING THIS ;)
So this is one of the main reasons I blog in english ;) And the other one is: I love the english language, as it sounds so smooth and chilled ;) if i would write in German, I think even some native speakers may even wouldn´t understand my Swabian-Augsburgerisch idiom :D 
So in this post, I simply wanted to say thaaaaaaaaaank you to you all who regularly drop by or also visit my blog once ;) You all mean so much to me ;) 
And in all the time I own my little page I now got over 28.000 visitors and clicks ;) so you maybe also understand why I wanna keep this up ;) My blog means so much to me ;) 
And each one makes me proud and shows me how much togetherness means and helps !!!! 

Also for answering the other question: Why do you blog in general? ;) Oh I enjoy blogging beeeecause, it helps MYSELF to write down many of my thoughts, because otherwise I surely wouldn't face them anyhow I think ;) So it is a good way to confront myself with my often confusing wirrwaaaaarrs and struggles and also I enjoy it, because getting in touch with so many many lovely people makes me feel like I am someone, who is somebody ;) haha bit confusing, right? But I think you know what I mean, I feel a little bit like a appreciated person and not only a person who has a problem ;) NO!!!!


Also I wanna mention a motto of our family, since I am a little girl, and I still think it fits: 
The world is a village!!!!!!

Okay so enough for now, but as a finish of this may emotional post for me ;) I put a picture of an old-timer rallye here, which I had a look at yesterday ;) it was so fun and somehow cuuute *_* looking at those old-style cars passing through our villages ;) 

Sunday, July 17, 2016

SUMMER IS NOW!!

Huhuuuuuuu Sweeties :) 

OMG I recognized my last blog post already is more than a few weeks agoooo... :) so sorry for this lack again ;) 

Summer only is once and year and this time is now! SO live with it! You can´t relive it again and you should use this time for making experiences, having fun and creating a life which is worth living it without any harmful illnesses.... :( or simply try your best to have it ;) And this exactly is my motto 2016!!!!! All of this time won´t come again and you can´t use a chance again you once missed! 
So you maybe are thinking what does she wanna say us with this now, because theoretically said things work out more easy than in actual practice and real life! But even if i fail and won´t always have success with it, I am no more banning myself inside my illness and inside my room! I wanna take the step out :) 
SO what am I doing along at the moment? ;) I am working half time and I still loooove it ;) the job in the tax office is so perfectly for meeee ;) I would never have imagined this, but I will start an apprenticeship in september *_* bit nervous, but I thought deeply about it and wanna give it a gooo ;) I am so glad i never will go back to uni again and become a teacher, because i now truly know for sure, this partly has been a reason why I became so ill ... :S 

our "Freibad" in Dinkelscherben
And on other things I really can happily say, that my relationship to my sister developed to the clearly better the last weeks ;) we went out very often together and had a great time at parties or at the pool ;) Because before last week, the temperatures here in Germany were absolutely stunning and unreally hot *_* I loved it ;) spend so much time outside as it was even possible ;) also one absolutely really important and happy thing was: For the first time in the las 3 years (since my illness became absolutely dangerously:() I was able to go into our public open pool which reaches at its most a water temperature of 24 °C :) and i even swam one row ;) this was so fab for me ;) sorry for mentioning something maybe not so exciting for you  ;) but for me it felt special :) 

this is the spa in Bad Wörishofen 
And also last week I really tried to keep myself busy ;) I went with mummy and my sister into thermal spa here in our surrounding and I was sooooo glad to properly swim and dive again without even freezing or feeling powerless ;) It was so great for relaxing *_* 
Oh and something also was feeling kind of special for me this week ;) A very very good and helpful friend from my time in the clinic came here to visit me!!! I felt somehow honored and we met with another girl from this time there in Augsburg, because she also lives here ;) Oh it felt so amazing to see both of them again ;) 
Also I now try to keep some things in my mind, which really push me and help me staying happy: For example things like driving, riding motorbike with my dad, going shopping, spending some time at the pool or any water, going on holidays, having a few drinks, meeting friends,.... many many more ;) and sooooo I try to do them as often as even possible ;) 

Do you also have such fun things to do, to simply make you happy=)? Have a wonderful new week now hooooneys ;) 
xxxxxxxxxxxx