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Saturday, May 30, 2015

Aaaaadvice recommended and neeeeeeded :)

A Nutellaaaaarellaley good morning my cuuuuuties :-*

Sorry for my small lack of posting in the last few days :( I also think I am so bad at replying to my messages and mails at the moment, but I rarely had the time, because of organizing a few things for my studies and soo on :) 

I would now really really recommend your help so so much my dears ;) so I would be so pleased if you would write a comment about it or send me an email about your opinion ;) 

As I lately was in hospital because of my thrombosis in my eye, my attitude of getting some help in an inpatient center changed a little bit ;) and I don´t know now if becoming inpatient at a clinic would help me on my way of becoming fully recovered, healthy and happy =)???

There are just so so so so many ?????????????????????????????????


On the one hand I never wanted this in my whole life and I definitively (all of my friends and family can assure you this :D hahaa) am not the type of person who can easily deal with all sorts of changes or rules people want to put me into :) but on the other hand all people tell me that it will only be for MY best and I would do it for me and no one else :) I don´t want to be imprisoned in my body :) I mean I wanna do all the things girls at my age do and I want to look younger and healthier again :( and if this means getting more help from specialists, do I have to take it? :( I am so unsure about all of this and really would love to get some tiiiiips or advices of you my dears, because I know you all have been through tough and hard times as well and what would you consider best for me the Nutellaaaaaa-girlie? ;) 

I would thank you so much if you text me in any form ;) 
Have a wonderful day my Cuuuuties *_* 




Friday, May 22, 2015

Continuing with My Story? =)

Heeeeey my cutiepiiiiies ;)


Here in Germany today it is a very very grey and actually cold daaaaaaay :( OH it is May, where is the summer? ;) I am definitively in need for more sun and warmth noooooow :) 

So while studying for uni and preparing a little present for my mums saint´s day (yeees we actually still celebrate this day in Germany:) do you guys know it? Or is it practiced in your country as well?:))  I actually realized that the recognizing/revelation of my ED is now exactly one year ago :( Because around this time in May my parents went with me for the first time to an eating disorder advice center :( they were so worried about me but I didn´t even was able to realize how worse the situation actually already has gotten ;) I was like blind and it felt like awaking out of a bad dream being diagnosed as a severe anorexic girl =( 

And so so many things happened in this one year :( so many sad things which Miss Mager destroyed and I became such a different person :) episodes of proudness, hate, love, crying, feeling lonely, feeling unsure about the future, being sad, hurt others, lost, new friendships, new life, new people, new goals, experiences, dreams, hopes, disgust, energy, lacks of power, cheating, healing, aaaaaand all kind of different emotions :) :( wow this year honestly wasn´t easy and either recovery anyhow and anyway will be easy, but it will definitively be worth it :)


So tell me my honeeeeeys, are you interested in getting to know more about me and how my illness developed and continued or is this more a topic which maybe triggers or bores youuuu? =) OH I would so love to hear from you :) 
Lots of huuuuuugs and I wish you a nice weeeeeekend :) 
xxx
Sunday, May 17, 2015

Places I wanna see in my lifetime :)

Heeeeelllooooou my cutiiiiiiiiiies :)
Recently I chattered with my blogging hot- choc-giiiiiiirl Emmy (http://ganache-elf.blogspot.ie)about all the different places we still wanna get to see in our lives :) and we only will be able to see them and to travel around if we are at a healthy weight :) soooo this is our job: we have to fight for this so hard and give recovery day by day another try!!!! :)
Sooo as you already know about me I think, I have been to quite a few places which I absolutely adored and still want to go back again :)
Such places are for example: Ireland (already have been there about 13 times but I never get enough of this beautifuuuuuuuuul green isle *_*), Great Britain (it has such an adorable, sweet and very very special character and charm: it is always so worth a trip=)), Sweden and Norway, Portugal, Italy (the Mediterranean lifestyle is so special and amazing, such heartful people and the warm and sunny clime are a puuuuuuurrfect mixture in my opinion=)), Greece (only was there once on my after school tour, so I did not see so much of the country itself, more of the bars and pubs;)) aaaaaand of course the USA!! Our trip in California, Utah, Arizona and Nevada was one for a lifetime and I would love to do it again so much and also discover many of the other parts of the US as well :)

And so here we come now to the PLACES I WANNA SEE IN MY LIFETIME!!!!

As I just said so many parts of the United States -> I would be so curious about Florida or the East Coast as well ;) but also the Midlands must be so breathtaking ;)


Then there would be New Zealand for sure -> this country must be so special and lovely :) it looks like there would be so many natural spectacles and phenomenons *_* just like wow -> here I would also add Australia *_* stunning


Also I am such a massive massive fan of all kinds of islands :) so a dream of myself would be to go to a Caribbean Island *_* spending some time in a resort there must be absolutely amazing, because I love the sun, the beach and the ocean so much :) Oh and Hawai must be craaaaazy *_*




Also I still have some places in Europe which I still would be so interested about : Spain (as I now learn Spanish in University, I would also love to see the sunny country there as well), the Greek Isles, .......




Also I think it would be an experience for lifetime to see China or something into the Asian direction, it must be like visiting another world I think *_*

South Africa and Cape Town also have to be so incredible stunning places ;)


Ohooo and nearly I forgot it: There are some cities which I definitively want to do a trip to ;) OMG it would be amazing to see London (again), Dublin (different places than only the airport hahaa ;)), Paris, Rome, Venedig, Athen(again), Lisbon (again), Barcelona, Madrid, Istanbul, San Francisco (again), LA(again), Las Vegas (again), Miami, New York, Rio, Stockholm, Edinburgh, Sydney, Cape Town,.....


Hahaaa so my lovelies as you all see, I still have so many places I want to see before I die and for this I have to be healthy!!!!!


Wish you a lovely Sundaaaay now ;) xxx
Sunday, May 10, 2015

A cuuuute package from a special person-- :)

OH GOD I FINALLY GOT IT ;) I can´t really believe it...

Haha wondering what I am talking about?
In the last days I was sooooo eagerly waiting for the post man to bring me a little package ;) 
For a package from Izzy from "A Life without Anorexia"!!
We did kind of some snack exchange hihiiiii *_* 
She already got my package with many many typical German sweeeeeets and other foodies and goodies :) 



And it already was her second try to send me one, because unfortunately the first one got lost on its way by the post :( such an annoying thing, but Izzy generously packed another one for me and I am so so much happy about this :)

So now imagine myself tearing the green little package from the post man and immediately pulling it open :) *_* just a bit crazy ;) 


Awww and I was so happy taking a look at all the sweeeeeeets ;) she sent so much chocolate, which absolutely is my all time favorite and so many (for me unknown) Swedish treats :) 
And I am sorry, but I had to smile and giggle so much about the swedish names of the pieces ;) this language at parts sounds so funny, but I really enjoy it :) So the names of the different bars are for example Japp, Plopp, Kex, Swebar, Mjölk choklad (which sounds absolutely similar to the German meaning of Milchschokolade), Geisha, Marabou....
OMG isn´t this package cuuuute? ;) Thank you so so much again Izzy, this is just too sweet :) I love doing such exchanges, because you get to know so much from other people and their cultures ;) this is one of the reasons why I also love to go shopping in different countries ;) they offer so many new for me unusual things and I am so curious on discovering them ;) so anyone else interested? =) 
Wish you all a lovely Sunday now and I hope you find time to enjoy yourself and relax :)
xxx

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Shooooooortly Update :)

Heihoooo my lovely oooooones ;)
So how are you doing the last days ? =) I really want to get to know more about you guys agaaaaaaain ;) maybe you wanna leave some comment on how you are spending your days at the moment ? =) Maybe school, work, travel, enjoyment, boredom, eeeeeeeeeeeverything you like :) 

I feel so bored here as well :) I don´t have anything special to do :( just waiting for the next check up and inspection :( but on weekends in hospital absolutely nothing necessary happens, it is all about just waiting for some results of my blood and CT :( so next week I am still having some ECG and blood pressure measurements :( so we will see :( they don´t really know where this thrombosis in my eye is coming from :( 

But now I got my own room and I also get some visitors each day, so it is quite acceptable and I arrange myself with it :) Something which is a bit confusing for me are my eating habits and cravings here :( I mean my body does not like the cooffeeeeee here at all, which I was so addicted to at home :) I maybe see this as a positive sign of my body craving something more fresh and tasty ;) and this may be good? ;) Oh wish me luck my Sweeties ;) 

I love u all so so much and think of all of you so many times here in hospital :) I don´t want to go into another clinic for eating :O So get your butt up and get out of this illness :) and tell me how you like spending your day at the moment and how the weather in your country is maybe :) Here it is just so misty and foggy and everything but not sunny and nice :) But next week I read it should get warmer again :) Let´s hope for it :)
LOVE UU
xxx