Welcome text

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Haaaaaaappy New Year :-*

Hey my loooovelies :-*
I want to say sooo much thank you for all of your amazing and inspiring support in this battling year 2014!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;) I love you so much and I am so glad you helped me through hard times and kept me motivated :D Honestly you all mean the world to me :-*

So I want to wish you all a great and wonderful NEW YEAR 2015 :)
I hope for all of those who as well as I am suffering from an ED, will be able to beat this stupid illness finally!!! Let´s get it an EDFREE YEAR!!!!! We can do it, recovery is possible, just have a look at all those people who made it! And how happy they are ;) So let´s do this too ;)
Soooo sending you all hugs and kisses xxx
I am going to have a drink on us at midnight =) Maybe you too? =)
Monday, December 29, 2014

No more EGO!!!!! ;)

Deeeeear Sweeeeties;) :-*
I am a little bit in a split with myself at the moment and could really use your advice in a few ways:) I mean christmas was superduper wonderful and nice (by the way haahaa I got a new iphone 6, can't believe i really got it, but my old one wasn't quite working anymore, but I was sooooo surprised and it was so lovely of my parents;)) Soooo what special things did you get from the Christkind or Santa or whoever? ;) I would be so cuuurious to get to know about it;)

soooo but back to the actual topic, my problem.... So I momentaneously can deal with eating food at all really quite good, which means I accept that I have to eat all of my meals and I know how they have to look like... And I also know that I have to increase and show mooore;) yes this is okay as I said, buuut know I notice time by time that my character has become soooo egoistic and especially while eating I am such an annoying person who you don't actually and honestly want to spend any time with:( I know this sounds a bit weird but I am not so used to this characteristic of me, which I think first appeared with this stupid Miss Mager:( and whereas I can cope honestly good with eating at the one side (about what I am soooo unbelievably happy to be) but on the other I dislike myself for being so unfriendly to my family while eating and also afterwards or before... even though I know they only want the best for me:( so i don't know, why do I get so unfriendly and egoistic if it is about food????:) This is so annoying for me, because the hate and guilt after eating are not appearing at the moment any time, I can cut them out very well at the moment, but why am I saying such egoistic things? I know I have always been a person who wanted everybody to be satisfied and happy, and so why can't I simply behave right and make my loving ones happy and eat without any discussions about little food breccies I want to put away from my plate?
Puuuuh such a hard thing to always behave right and next to this eat enough to gain!!!!! ;) But well my cuuuuuties, I will never give up because of such discussions, because I am able to eat everything and so I will alsoo be able to beat Miss Mager and soooooo will you hoooooneys;)

I wish you all the luck in the world
and omg nearly I forgot to ask, dooo you have any good intentions for what you want to achieve in 2015???;) because 2014 nearly is over, omgggggggggggg!!! Hard to believe right?=) 

ouuuuur cuuute christmas village decoration ;)
I simply enjoy the warming light of it =)
So no maaaatter what I hope you had wonderful christmas days and I wish you another lovely week ;) I am now going to relax a little bit talking and watching TV ;) xxx

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Fröhliche Weihnachten üüüüberall... :) Christmas Eve!!!

Hahaaa I really hope everyone knows his language :D









I am sending all of you Lovelies and Sweeties from all over the world some wonderful christmas wishes!!! :-*

I hope soooooooo endlessly much you can enjoy yourself in this special time of the year and celebrate this festivity with all your senses! :) I hope you all receeeeeive lots and lots of presents (hahaa :D) and spend time with your loved ones :)
I am now making myself ready for this special evening *lookingveryexcited* and I wish you all the best! 

Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *********
Sweeeeeties, it is only now one day to gooooooo till Christmas Eve OMG!!!!!!!!!*_* 
I am so excited, but anyway my christmas mood isn´t that strong as I expected it to be honestly ;) but now I listen to more and more christmassy songs and light up candles which smell like cookies, gingerbread and cinnamon of course :) 

So today I thought about writing a post about how my family celebrates christmas eve and the other festivities in the following days :) I don´t know if we do it in this typical german way, but it is simply the way I love it and it is so traditional for me :) 

In Germany the people in general believe in "das Christkind", which for most of people is imagined as a golden-haired angel I think :) So we don´t actually have a Santa Clause, but it gets more common these days, too to believe in the "Weihnachtsmann" ;) Buuuut our Christkind delivers the presents on Christmas Evening and we also open it then ;) so we don´t wait till the next morning, we oooooooooooopen it immediately!!!! :) Hahaaaaaa all the presents are placed under the christmas tree and it is such a beautiful atmosphere *_* I loooove this part so much ;) 

But let´s begin at the start of our family christmas celebrations:
Since I can remember we start our day quite normal and everyone is preparing and wrapping up the last presents for the eeeeeeevening :) then in the afternoon, when it gets more and more dusky we switch on some warm lights and have some Plätzla together ;) Okay last year I wash´t able to enjoy the cookies or any sweet treats, buuut this year will beeee different! I will fight for it, for my old life!!!!!! 
Aaaaaaaw and then afterwards in the last years we (all 4 together :-*) drove to "Oma and Opa" (granny and granddad) and unwrapped the presents and gifts we got from them there, while sitting in their comfy living room in a heart-warming <3 atmosphere all together ;) but this year this part will be different I fear, because in april my granddad died and so my granny will be at our house for celebrating christmas ;) 
Sooo afterwards we go home again and shaaaare dinner ;) Last year we had "raclette" (which was deliiiiicious *_*) and this year we will have "Wiener Schnitzel" with "Kartoffelsalat" (pork with potato salad) I am really looking forward to this, because it still is one of my feared foods, but on christmas eve I will aaaaabsolutely be able to eat it ;) I promise! JUST SHUT UP MISS MAGER! ;) 
I think this meal is also very common in general in Germany to be eaten for christmas dinner ;) Alsooooo I think many people in our region enjoy to have "Schweinsbratwürstel mit Sauerkraut" (pork sausages with pickled cabbage:-)) Omg, it is so hard to translaaaaate all those yummiiii things in English =) hopefully you understand it, I am doing my best ;) 
Also many Germans use to have duck or goose with red cabbage or dumplings :) 
Buuut back to Christmas Eve!!!

This is our tree ;) Me and my sis decorated it 2 days ago :)
It geeeeets time for the presents *-*this always has been such a special and unique moment for me and my sister ;) we waited in the kitchen with our eyes closed until our parents called us to come into the living room where our beautiful (fully decorated christmas tree :)) and the manger glance in an amaaaaazing light =) I absolutely love this atmosphere :D then it´s time to unwrap the presents and as me and my sis often have similar ones, we always open them together and enjoy each one ;) This is the best part of the evening for me :) 
Aaaafterwards, when all presents are given, we make our way to our grandma and my uncle and his family ;) where we again share presents with their kids ;) Sometimes also in the last years (but it got really rare) we went to the holy mass at night =) and so we do this year again too :) After arriving back home again, we use to listen to some traditional classic christmas songs and sit in the living room together ;)

On Christmas Morning on the 25th we use to have breakfast together which mostly is an egg with toast, butter and jam :) and for lunch we also share something tradition ;) let´s see what is there to cooome :)
Soooo hopefully my lovelies you already have wrapped in all of your presents and get ready for the best day of the ear (hopefully it will be :)) but be optimistic :) I am a bit late and stressed with my presents, buuuut I today will be able to organize some stuff, too :) So let´s get this day started :) (of course with toast and NUTELLA:)) 
Wish you all a wonderful 23th of december -> Enjoy your christmas time :) 
Thursday, December 18, 2014

Bringing myself in christmas mood ;) *_*





Yeeeeeeeeesterday (I actually wanted to post this one yesterday, but I didn´t managed to get it complete ;) I simply wanted to write a little bit and so I just start with twoooooo pics, I made the other day ;)  I haaaate the weather at the moment, it is always sort of foggy and cloudy, so I always feel like it is late again and this is annoying, right? :)
On the pics youu see my little advent calendar, which includes a new cuuute pic everyday :) hihiiii somewhere inside me I am still such a child ;) Aaand in the background you can see our "Adventskranz" (christmas wreath?=)) and my shopping bag haha =)
I think I haven´t opened all of the doors in the pic uuuuups :(

And here is another pic of an advent calendar :)It is sad to say, but it was mine last year and I have to admit, that I didn´t even ate one thing of all the sweets and goodies in it :( I really feel such a shame by thinking about it NOW.... Last year it appeared quite normal to me.. Awful isn´t it...

Soooo where on my trip around the
world should I stop by to visit you?*_*
Soooooo what did I do these days? First of all I was so happy about all the lovely comments of all of you, who left some on my blog *_* I would loooooove to visit all of you when I am doing my travel around the world ;) you simply would have to tell me where I have to make a stop by and then I will be able to plan my route ;) will be soooo much fun ;)

Then I was a little bit productive in doing some uni stuff and packing presents and writing some christmas cards ;)

According to my eating I have to tell you, that I am still doing hard :( in increasing my meal plan, but in some way, I am trying to give my best :) Sooo in the last days I tried out my first christmas cookies, we baked ourselves ;) Some "Vanillekipferl" and we also made some "Spitzbuaba" :) 
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut my Sweeties, never stop believing in yourself, because every day is a second chance! And there always is sooo much hope! Only thinking back of how different my thoughts were in the last few month and the way I am now having my meals and my snacks, I can feel so good and get strength from it ;) Because making mistakes is only human and your body may also not always work in it´s used and correct way each day, but afterwards you have to get back on the right track, believe me, you will be doing so much easier, when you learn how to cooperate with your new challenges! :) What I wanted to say with this is: I now notice in my head, that eating gets easier again and more normal, and by reflecting this, I achieve so much hope and have the will and the power again to let the changes in! :) 
Keep it up my lovelies, and always remember you are not alone in your battle, there always is someone who believes in you (this can be your family, friends, me,....)=) 

Puuuuh now I babbled so much again, but I hope it will help you just a little bit probably ;) 
Love u all so much, have a nice evening and a good start in the upcoming new week ;)
Sunday, December 14, 2014

Sundaaaays ;)

Helloooooo my Loveliiiies ;)
How are you doing? =) Hopefully you are all well and bravely (hahaaa:D) eat your daily glass of Nutella :) I honestly am doing it, because there really is no day without my Nutella:
So for example tooooday I ate some "Amerikaner" made by my granny for breakfast (normally I don´t change my breakfast, as you remember: 2 toasts with Nutella*_*)but in the last weeks, I also tried one with cheese or jam :) crazy, but it helps me dealing with the wrong thoughts! So I ate my Amerikaner (which absolutely tasted delicious) and so me and my mum spontaneously decided as a morning snack I could have some banana (which I haven´t got for aaaaaages now :() with Nutellaaaa :) Omg, at first I was very skeptical, because I think you could imagine the way it looked, like Banana Split :D buuuut I decided to stoop this stupid calorie counting, so why not try out different combinations like Banana and Nutella :) Wooooow
I also decided to take the Banana instead of something chocolatey, because I now also try to focus a little bit on healthy things as well ;) I mean I won´t change anything at eating choc and sweeeeeets as often as possible, but now and then something healthy is important ;) also for my health and getting stronger hair and nails, ..... again :) hopefully this works!!! :) 

Oh okay now I actually forgot about my actual intention: the weekly challenge and this fact, that I am so sad, that Izzy stops writing her blog for a while :( She really was such an amaaaaazing inspiration for me now in my worst episode, she really cheered me up every fucking day I wanted to give in! ;) So reading yesterday, that she will stop her blog for a while made me very sad and suddenly I realized how much I need you all ;) I at the very first moment felt alone in someway, because her blog really was something I read everyday and which cheered me up!
AAAAAAAAAAAH and now it is good news! I started writing my post here this morning and could´t finish it until now, and nooooow I am reading on Izzy´s blog that she still will keep her blog updated and bloggs on! ;) This really made my day! ;) So haaaappy guys! ;) 

Findus as the "Lichterbraut" singing St. Lucia on 13. December 
Omg :S now I already have such a long post abouuut actually a wide variety of random things :( soooo I keep this randomness up and tell yooou :D:
Yesterday I actually intended to write about the St. Lucia festivities, which are celebrated mostly in Sweden and I (don´t know why?) looove it ;) But to be honest, I think I nevertheless know why: When I was little, I looooooooooved playing and reading the stories of "Petersson and Findus" (especially in christmas time, because we had a advent calendar for our pc:)) I still think they are sooooo cute and every year at St. Lucia I remember the little cat Findus singing and dressing up as the light queen ;) This was I think the way I annually remember of this one ;) 
Do you guys know Petersson and Findus? ;) And what sort of advent calendars do you actually have? I have one with perfume and different beauty products :) looove it ;)

Soooo all in all I think this post is really a mixture of all the different thoughts I have at the moment and I hope it doesn´t bore you or something ;)
The weekly challenge I will as soon as possible catch up again!!!! I promise ;)
Wish you all a lovely evening ;) enjoy christmas time!!! xxx
Friday, December 12, 2014

Day 4: 5 things you like about yourself (appearance wise) :)

Hooope you all have a lovely evening my ED fighters ;)

(Hihiii why I am writing this I am getting myself a little bit in christmas mood by listening to christmas songs in the radio =)) Laaaaaaaaaaaast Christmas I gave you my heart, ... which is somehow correct relating to MM :( baaad thought, but somehow true, because I didn´t just eat one(!!!!!!!) "Plätzle" (cookie) in christmas time :( so it already started at this time....

But now let´s come to the weekly challenge and beeeecause I missed posting yesterday ( I am very sorry for that, but anyway I didn´t really find the time, todaaay there are two is truly tricky exercises to do:
5 things I like about myself :( I simply name them, because I actually don´t really know how to explain them in detail or why ;)
-Puuuuuh first of all I would start with the color of my eye ;) they are kind of green- brown and I have exactly the same one as my dad has and I like seeing it at him ;)
-Then I would say I looooooove my earrings and my piercing ;) hopefully that one counts :)
-In earlier days I didn´t like my fingers, but now I think I like them =) I also always wear two rings on them which keep me motivated in my recovery: HOPE and LOVE
-my hands
-aaaaand probably my lips ;)

5 of my goals
-get university and my degree to become a teacher in a primary school :) I don´t want to give them up relating to my ED :(
-do a trip around the world/ a term in another country/ or simply see as much of the world as possible (hopefully I will be able to gooo especially to the USA  *_*soon again, but I would also loooove to see so many different places, too ;))
-get very old ;) :D
-always having a loving and caring family/lovelies around myself :)

I wish you all suuuuch a nice evening ;) Hope you enjoy it and relax a little bit after an exhausting week ;) xxx

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Chaaaaallenge :)

Hellooohellooohellooooo ;)
Looovely morning honeeeeys *_* went to the hairdresser this morning and let myself be pampered a little bit :) I always love the atmosphere there ;) afterwards I went to the office of my mum to have my morning snack with her :) a kitkat and a mars :) two absoluuuutely delicious things =) 
Soo but what actually matters in this post is
Day 3 of the Weekly Challenge:) 5 things you want to get better at

I want it now soooo much that this dark episode of my life (I mean the episode of being so thin that everyone notices and feels sorry for me) ends as soon as possible. But I have to accept, that the progress only goes on slowly and I have to get more patience for it :) 

2. Decide faster and be more spontaneous
I am so baaaad at making any decisions :) reaaaally :( So I already have got problems to decide what I want to eat for example as a snack or which spread on my bread I want to take ;) So this is something I really want to change :)

3. Be on time
Hahaaa as in my latest post I wrote I am good at arriving late and not in time, I really have to take it more seriously to try to arrive at appointments or lessons in time :) otherwise I probably will have to take the negative consequences :)

4. Loving myself
I am such a bad person if it is about loving oneself ;) I am this kind of person who would do everything for somebody else, but often forgets about her personal opinion then...Because if I would have been able to respect myself more in the last year(s), I probably haven´t constructed this Miss Mager :(  I have to learn to value myself more I think.... Being a little bit more egoistic

5. Listening to my body and forgetting about Miss Mager
This thing is related to my ED! It is the most important thing I want to get better at, because it influences my whole life and my lifestyle... If I still would keep up to listening to this illness in the way I did it for example in June, July or August, I now wouldn´ t be where I am now! I probably would´t be alive anymore, sit in a clinic or could´t go to university..... So progress is possible and this is what I have to be better at still! I just never should give up =) 

Hope you all have a lovely day!!!! 
GOOOOOOOO NUTELLAAAAAAAAAA! xxx (hahaaa I am crazy :))

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

This weeks challenge :) I am a bit late but it is never to late to be positive :)

Guuuuten Morgen meine Süßen :) <3
Yesterday I was as usually just checking my mails, Facebook, a few pages, etc,....
And alsoooo as every morning I go on Izzy´s blog to see what she does and what advice she gives me for the day to keep me/all of us motivated :)
And I read about her week challenge and spontaneously decided to join in ;) love the idea of everybody thinking positive about him-/herself :)
Soooooo from today on the whole week I also try to fulfill her challenge :) maybe you also want to join in and simply share a comment according to your personal experience and your own positives!!! :) You are all worth so much *_* and so be able to find so many positive things about yourself and your future! Simply join in, I would be so happy ;) Like Izzy writes: "It´s going to be good thoughts and positivity all week!"

Here is the link for the challenge:

So because I missed yesterday I simply start with Day 2:

1. Helping others and listening to  :) I mean I would never say that I am the first person who jumps up if a situation is about helping, but if someone asks for it or I feel there is help or an open ear needed I absoluuuutely immediately am there for this person/friend/family/stranger

2. Starting a conversation or having smalltalk with others :) I simply looooove talking and so I want others too ;) It is so much fun and I hate these uncomfortable breaks in conversations =) so I am always sort of babbling and chattering :D

3. Cooking and baking :) I really enjoy doing both, it always helps me to calm down a little bit and it gets me in a good mood most of the time ;) (especially now, when I am allowed again to eat the goods afterwards :))

4. Driving my car =) Hihiiii, this is something I 100% got from my dad :D And I don´t actually know why, but I looooove it so much to just drive around;) no matter where (to uni, appointments, friends,...) I simply love to sit in my Mini (i have a beige one with red stripes on it :) it is my baby :)) and step on the gas :)

5. Hahaaa I know this doesn´t really fit in the positive things I am good at, but I am very very good at arriving too late and not in time =) I am always joking about myself if I again missed the train or get out of the house ;) But so I am also good at not taking things so seriously and also not take myself for too firmly :)

Soooo I think this is quiet enough for today ;) Oooooh and good news: weight in went well: I gaaaaained:) seeing my scale for such a long time not and not cheating on my parents and myself , made me feel so nervous about it, but now I am soooooo unbelievably happy (you can´t believe it)  :)
Thank you to all of you who read my blog, it always makes me smile ;) and keeps me holding on to my recovery :) because I know again see: Life is so much worth living, and I only can have it, if I am strong enough! And for getting strong again, I have to EAT! :) Soo let´s have Lunch now :) Today I am having I think Schupfnudeln mit Sauerkraut :) Guuuuuuten Appetit :D
PS: A special thank you to my Mum and my Dad, who daily show me that recovery is possible and help me so much (even if I slip :)) I  don´t know what I would do without you! :-*

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Uni Daaays ;)


Yeeeeeeeeey first day of actual snow... *_* The only sad thing about it is, that it did not stay... But let´s see what tomorrow brings! :)

Looooovely St. Nikolaus Day my Sweeties ;)

Puuuuuuh I am so sorry for my lack of posting the last days, but at the moment I am a bit busy at university... I mean I have got a WHOLE weekend of added courses.... So today I had a lesson called: "Philosophy with children" and if you are doing this the whole day you just feel tired in the evening... :( such a boring topic ;) (Who the hell is in university on weekend? NOBODY I noticed today-> but me hahaa :)) but I managed it and after getting home and having an original German "Wurstsalat" I am now watching TV with my mum ;)

Aaaand for me it is such a biiiiig recovery win, that I managed to eat my lunch (pasta made by Mama) in university with a friend ;) I felt like an absolutely kind of crazy freak (hahaa :D) because after having it I just felt something like proud coming up and I just sat there smiling :D this must have looked ridiculous, but I don´t care what others think of me, for me only counts at the moment that I gain weight and try out so many new scary things :)
If I only remember myself back in June or something I would never ever been able to eat something on my own and today I HONESTLY managed to do both snacks and lunch on my own without cheating or lying to myself... Because it absolutely was time again to realize that only I have to take the consequences if I do restrict! Awful thoughts, right? :( I can´t give up and days like this push me to keep moving forward and never stop again!!!! 
Thank you all so much for your amazing support my lovelies :-* you can´t believe how much everyone of YOU who reads and comments on my blog means to me!!!!!

So have a nice evening and sleeeeeep well <3

aaaaah and here just a pic of the Augsburger Christkindlesmarkt, I absolutely want to go there in the following days *_* looks so nice right? =)
maybe facing some fear food like "Schupfnudeln mit Kraut", "Bratwurst" or a "Germknödel maybe"? 

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Cooooooountdown for Christmas

Heiiii Sweeties :-*
Hope you all had a lovely 1st of December and enjoy a restful time until christmas 

I always was of this one and only opinion, but since last year I am not quite sure of what and how to feel about it...
I mean I love all of these cozy and comfortable pictures you see everywhere around and in the internet ;) I also enjoy it so much walking around on christmas markets, baking cookies, smell the fragrance of all the scented candles and take a look at the cutely decorated and lightened up villages in our neighborhood *_* always gives me a feeling of safety and warmth <3
But last year at that time I remember so well the beginning of counting calories and the restriction getting worse... :( I already had started to cut myself down in my eating habits and I unbelievably not even ate 1 (!!!!!!!!!!!) cookie, biscuit or ginger bread :( this is so sad I think..... 
And I always felt cold and couldn´t enjoy so many things anymore :( I don´t actually quiet know why I remember it as such a dark time, but in my opinion this restricting and creating of stupid eating rules was one of the most influential reasons of it... :( 
I absolutely hate what Miss Mager done to me in the last year ... 

But today I am trying not to be negative (it is the 1st december and the christmas countdown can begin!) Hahaaa and I can tell you I loooove my advent calendar, because it offered me such a nice perfume today ;) really sweeeeeeeet =)
Aaaaaaw and today after spending a not very stressing time at uni, I and my mummy baked "VANILLEKIPFERL" I am not sure, if you know them, but they are typical german cookies baked for christmas ;) soooooo yummy (one of my pre-ed favorites):-* 
And this winter I SWEAR I am going to try and eat them!!!! 

So now I am spending a relaxed evening with my family in front of the TV munching on Haribo Fruity Cocktail in our cozy christmassy decorated living room ;) 

Hope you have a lovely week and keep on beating your ED!!!! Recovery will be worth it =)

Aaaaaah nearly forgot: I´ve got an impoooooortant question to you:
Do you know any great recipes for christmas cookies with NUTELLA???????? :) I would be so cuuuurious about knowing some and trying them out immediately :D So pleeeease tell me if you know one, I would die for it !!!!!!!!! *_*

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

What actually is typical German food? (Hihiii only in my opinion and in the cliches:D)

So because I think combining the general German lifestyle and food in one post would get a liiiiiiittle bit too long, I decided to split it up and simply begin with writing about what I think is typical German food ;) Of course this is not what everyone believes in, but it´s just my opinion and you have to remember, that I am from Bavaria, in the south and we eat so many different foodies as they probably do in the north :)hope you are okay with me only writing about those things I knooow or also maybe eat ;) But I think anyway this post is going to get a little bit longer ... ;) Don´t quite know with which one to start :S

Buuuut no problem, I definitively will start with one of those foods, that helped me soooo much loosing my anxiety of breads and carbs :) it really played/and still plays such a huuuge enormous role in my recovery (because I nearly eat it every evenig as „Brotzeit“ (means dinner). It is typical Bavarian and is my „Brezel“/Pretzel... ;) We usually combine it with fresh creamy butter, but you can nearly grease it with everything like ham or cheese ;) whatever you liiike ;) I loooove it so much, because in my opinion it tastes so much better than a normal bun or something like that ;)

Brezel & Weißwurst & Sweet Mustard

Soooo to combine the Brezel you could also use something very very Bavarian: Like I´ve mentioned in my last post: A „Weißwurst“ or „Leberkäse“.  The first one is kind of  a sausage and it is really common in this area that you eat these with a sweet mustard and a Pretzel for second breakfast :D Of course this is not practiced so much often, rather on festivities ;) 

Brezel & Leberkäse & Mustard

So you could enjoy the Weißwurst, as well as the Leberkäse (which is a somewhat thicker kind of wurst) very well at evening or for lunch for example on a bun, too) 

On the left is Sauerkraut and the
Wiener Schnitzel 

We also eat a lot of meat and other sausages, too ;) like "Wiener Schnitzel"(which is an allover breaded piece of pork) or "Currywurst"(a sliced sausage spiced and covered with curry ketchup), which are also often combined with "Sauerkraut" (sour cabbage) or other yuuummi things... ;)

Pichelsteiner (looks not so deeeli,
but believe me it is good:)
Theeeen to continue I would choooose some meals with potatoes, because we use to cook many of our meals with them ;) So something typical is „Kartoffelsalat“ (potato salad) which is available with many different dressings like mayonnaise or oil ;) and they are as well as other dishes with potatoes like „Bratkartoffeln“ (roasted potatoes in a pan) or mashed potatoes easy to be served as a side dish with sausages or everything you crave for ;) I really enjoy having them also in a meal, which is called Pichelsteiner Eintopf (which I actually just had a few minutes ago for lunch) ;) It simply is a typical stew made from various kind of meats and vegetables :) By times I find it nooow so much easier to eat it again, because while ED I was soo scared of all the carbs and the meat, that I refused to eat it ;) but nooot now!!! I am in recovery and not giving in!!!! ;)

Sooo what else is typical here? Something else you might not really know are „Kässpätzle/Spätzle“ ;) This is nooot easy to describe :S hmm I don´t actually know how, but they are kind of egg noodles and can be eaten as a side dish with meat or „Kässpätzle“ are  served with melted cheese and onions ;) believe me, they are still a little bit sort of a fear food, but eating them will get less anxiety as well I think ;) 

But in Germany we do not only eat  those massive and hearty things like it maybe seems by listing them ;) We also have lots of sweet specialities, which I definitively prefer (just by the way):
First of all there exists the „Dampfnudel“ (or if you want to fill it with jam: „Germknödel“), a so called steam noodle, sort of white, sweet bread roll eaten usually with vanilla custard. Reaaaally yummi, my Granny often used to make them for us, when we were little ;) I always enjoyed those days when she invited us for lunch to have Dampfnudeln ;)

Another speciality, I already mentioned in my recent posts , is the gingerbread („Lebkuchen“): It is usually eaten at the time around christmas and includes a huuuuge variety of different spices and flavours such as honey, ginger, cinnamon, nuts and almonds,.... ;) really always reminds me of christmas time *_* For christmas we Germans also loooove to bake so many different types of cookies: Traditional goods are for example „Vanillekipferl, Zimtsterne, Nugattaler, Butterplätzchen, Dominosteine,....“

Prinzregententorte *amaaaaaazing*isn´t it?
Ooooooooh nearly I forgot to mention all the beeeeautiful cakes we share ;) They are huuuge, believe me.. :D
So there is for example the „Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte“, probably known to you as Black Forest Cake, consisting of several layers of chocolate cake combined with cherries and cream ;) I am not such a huuge fan of it, but so many people love it =) I rather prefer cakes like our „Prinzregententorte (a Bavarian cake consisting of at least 6 layers of sponge cake with buttercream and chocolate *_*), Sachertorte, Donauwelle, Bienenstich, Kuchen.... ;) Omg so hard to stop talking about all those yuuuuummi things ;)

But I think/hope you now got a little bit more info about what is typical German in my eyes ;)

Hahaaa I hope you didn´t get bored while reading ;) I am really really looking forward to get to know your opinion about the foods ;) and I would also be very interested in hearing, wheter you know our foods in your countries ;) Aaaand of course my brave warriors, I would love to get your opinion about the taste of the foods ;) I simply mean, if you think if you would like to try some of them... ;)
Hope you all have a looooovely week ;) Love u all so muuuch :-*

Oh by the way I nearly forgot: Nutella is typical German, too;) Hahaaa
Friday, November 21, 2014

Raaaandom post I think :)

Buuuuuuuenas noches mis amigoooos ;)
Hahaaa as you definitively can (and will) see, I practiced over 3 hours of Spanish today in university :) :D 
Hoy he tenido un día agotador en la universidad ;) Aaaaabsolutely no idea if this is anyway correct, but in fact it just means I had a long day at my uni ;) Sooo didn´t actually do anything very special, exept having lessons in  Spanish, German and a subject which is called MuD ;) Eaaating out went hoooonestly well, because I literally (which really thrills me so much :)) was able to eat my morning snack consisting of two Mars bars and then for lunch my Mum came to our Mensa and we ate together ;) I am so thankful she is doing that, because this can´t be taken as an obvious thing, just because I still fight against my ED ;) She is always there for me ;) 
Omg *_* and then something strange (for me) happened: I read all dishes of the meal plan and had a look at them and decideeed for a chicken breast which is coated with breadcrumbs :S Ohh Miss Mager would have killed me, if she still would be that strong as she had been in June/July or the last months actually :) I was so glad believe me and I was happy to hear my mum was too ;) 

Yeah I know I promised to as soon as possible bring up a post about the typical German food and lifestyle, and I am already writing on it, buuuut today I didn´t get it ready to post but I hopefully will be soon ;) So I just thought writing a little bit of my day wouldn´t mind ;) hope you still are inteeeerested ;) 
Nooow I am going to have some dinner, let´s see what to prepare and afterwards I am planning to go with my sister and her friends to a club nearby ;) Let´s see how it is there, because I have never been there before, but surely it will be funny in some way ;) BEAT MISS MAGER´S ASS! Never stop ;) Wish you a lovely weekend my lovelies ;) 
Divertimos mucho en el fin de la semana ;)

Monday, November 17, 2014

Gaining weight is not so simple as it sounds :° but Christmas feelings ON ;)

Hallöööööchen ihr Lieben ;) 
(means: Helloooo my lovelies :))
Hope you are all doing well and I am sure you always keep to my advice of daily eating Nutella right? :D ^^
Here in Germany the weather today is sooooo grey, and I absoluuuutely don´t like it :( makes me feeling sooo tired anyway ;) but of course not tired to give up, but I also noticed in the last few days, that I have to take more and more changes in order to succeed in recovery.. :( you can´t stop at that hill your climbing :( your daily routines, constantly have to be builded and increased ;) otherwise I will be stuck and I don´t know what to do then.. :( this just can´t happen !!!! I have to do more! Kick this stupid thing :)
And for that I just wanted to put myself in a little more christmassy (don´t know if this word exists :D) feeling ;) 
Aaaaaaaaaah isn´t that a cute snack? Who would´t love it? I only know one person: MISS MAGER and she should simply shout up :)
OMG I think I am crazy for christmas today :)
So now I am going to listen to some christmas songs ;) haha only joking :D

Consitis of a soooo cute gingerbread and 3 "Zimtsterne" (tastes like gingerbread a little bit with a real cinnamon explosion in your mouth^^and on top there is some kind of sweet frosting) honestly something I craved for today ;) and the special thing for me is, that it made me feel proud and good and not hating myself for it ;) 
Hope you keep your battles also on and don´t get stuck ;) believe me the feeling of having a failure is so worse :( 
By the way do you have any topic suggestions? Because I don´t want you to get boooored ;) so if you wanna know something about me or recovery in general or everything you are interested, simply write meeee =) would love to read more of you, because I am such a curious person hihiii :-*

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Panic :(

Heeeeeeeeeeeelp :( 
Today is weight in at my doctor and I am sooooo nervous :( you can´t imagine guuuys :( 
but I honestly try to get rid of the number :( only if I forget about it, the weight gain will work :) and it has to increase! 
Hopefully everything is okay, also in relation to my blood results :) sooo I am really nervous now :( 
Wish me luck :)
Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Kick her ass :D

Hey sweeties :)
How are you all doing? :)
Sooo I think this post is going to be a kind of: I just want to tell the world what (often very stupid:D) stuff I am doing and thinking all day :) 
Who of you knows this kind of new single of Nickelback: "What are you waiting for"? I absolutely love this song at the moment and it gives me so much inspiration :) because what am I actually waiting forward? For better times without my ED to come? :) Of course this would be silly, so why not going higher? :) There is no reason holding anything back... :( 
Also I am such a huuuuge fan of the song "I lived" by One Republic, because it also shows me, that as long as I am in this stage of my illness, I can´t say at the end of my life, that I actually lived :( spending the whole summer at home or in a clinic or not being able to meet with friends, travel or do other crazy stuff... :( Is my desire of thinness so worth that? :( NO DEFINITIVELY NOT

Soooo resulting to stuff like this I yeeeesterday officially made a scratch of my fear food list again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Say Goodbye to: Wiener Schnitzel :)
Yeeeah, the situation yesterday was like that: My grandma got 75 years and she runs a little german restaurant/pub :) she always cooks very very much and hearty :) so in my worst episode I would never ever have
touched anything of those things, but I planned to try it, because I wanted to show that I can become a normal girl again :) and I did it :) Oh you guuuys can´t imagine how happy I was afterwards :) Don´t know why, but it was like so tasty and worth eating it :) I momentaneously try to outwit myself a little bit by trying out many different things and I hoooope so much it gets better and easier by doing it :) Wish me luck :) 

Another thing I did/am currently doing to motivate myself a little bit is, I rearranged my room :) Anyway I always thought I am not really such a creative and imaginative type of person, but by doing things like this I notice it makes me feel happy and helps me staying motivated in recovery :) So I decided to move the furniture a little bit and now I am able to look out of my window every morning when I wake up, which is really really nice and I like it :) I also wanted to rearrange my stuff, because so many perspectives in my room reminded me of my worst stage in ED :( at this time I always wanted to simply be alone in my room without anyone to talk to... :(I never want to have that again: Sooooooooooo my lovelies: Time for a change! LET IT HAPPEN! You won´t regret it :) believe me, I love the way my room looks now, completely different, but beautiful and perfect for my new me!
Should I post a picture of it? Would you be interested in the way it looks now? :)

I wish you all a lovely week and keep on eating your Nutella, never ever forget it! 
(PS: I did decorate one of my shelves with an empty jar of Nutella to always remind me of my lifesaver) :)
Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Favorite Foods :)

Hellooo my loveliiiies :-*
How are youuu doing? =) I know I won't probably get so much feedback on this post, but I would be soooo interested what your favorite food is :) so I mean, the most delicious snack or simply something you always enjoy eating so much :) hahaa I am so interested in this topic, because I love to go food shopping (of course shopping in general, too :)) in different countries, for example when I am spending my holidays or time there :) 
So I think in Italy, they have greeeeat cookies and delicious desserts such as Panna Cotta (which I haven´t eaten for aaaages now, because of my anxiety:() or in Great Britain I looooooooooove to go to Tesco (omg *_* it is like food heaven), or in Ireland the Super Valu and in the USA I discovered Walmart as such a paradise for sweet things :) When I was there last year I absolutely could´t believe what kind of variety they offer to their visitors ;) but already last year I now have the feeling my ED started, because I only rarely offered myself such things as the different flavors of Ben & Jerrys or the divine desserts/muffins/cookies/cakes/sandwiches/drinks or meals they sell :( and this really makes me feel sad thinking about :( because I am now asking myself, WHY the hell did I ban them from my eating:(  
I am now really really looking forward to your response ;) what is so special in your country? =) 

buuuuuuuut what they sell in every country all over the world (I think/hope :D) is my loooooovely and yummy Nutella :)
Hahaa have a nice week you guys :)